“Why am I not serious? – Steve Chandler, Club Fearless

I’ve recently become aware of the writings and philosophy of Steve Chandler — www.stevechandler.com — an author, coach and guru who has some profound things to say.  Last year he launched “Club Fearless,” a membership club, generally comprised of entrepreneurs and independent thinkers, which provides an opportunity to share creative ideas and benefit from Steve’s insights.

As a member of “Club Fearless,” I receive a daily motivational message from Steve.  I wanted to share this one with you (with permission of course).   It continues Steve’s focus on the benefits of optimism and the pitfalls of pessimism.(Bold highlights are mine for emphasis):

A person who is laughing, is open for anything. 

People ask me why I am not serious. Why I favor humor over almost anything else, especially in my seminars (come experience one on April 10) and in our webinars. Why? You can drive a truck through the opening that happens when you get another person to crack up.

My intention is to split their sides howling at how hilariously ridiculous pessimism is. Then you get them to become extremely angry. You want them to get as angry as possible about the time they have wasted pretending to be victims. The whole addiction our society has to being victims is the sickest thing humankind has ever experienced. The irony is this: the more privileged people become, the more they see themselves as victims. Just like the more you spoil a child, the nastier and more feral that child becomes.

The problem with living as a spoiled child is that it is a total waste of life. I know this because I wasted 33 years of my own life as a victim. It was a waste of life. Any time we are not creating, we are wasting life. When people accept it that they have been lying to themselves, the truth arises by itself. I don’t have to “tell” anyone the truth about themselves, they know it and see it. And they love it. It is the same truth that they intuitively saw when they were as yet unspoiled children living in joy and energy.

As an adult, that energy goes away, but only a VICTIM LIE can do that. When we keep repeating that lie, and adding new lies, it becomes an addiction. Just like any other addiction to any other drug that numbs the senses. These lies are mind-numbing because that is our intent. They are like an overdose of prescription tranquilizers, the slow suicide that we were too cowardly to just come out and do in the open. Like Nathaniel Branden says, “Self destruction is an act best performed in the dark.” My intention in life is to re-introduce as many people as I can to the light.

I will post additional writings from Steve as time and space permit.

Until tomorrow…

New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders — Nos. 9 and 10:

Only two New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders left!  So I’m even going to post them both together; no need to drag this out needlessly…

9. Build and maintain good relationships with others, especially your boss.

Studies have shown that employees tend to trust leaders who have good relationships with their superiors and others in the company.

Professor Robert Kelley, in his book, How to Be a Star at Work, says that one of the essential competencies for corporate success is the ability to build relationships within and outside of the organization. Get to know co-workers, bosses, vendors, customers and community leaders.

You can never have enough good relationships.

10. Praise your team.

Somewhere along the way, many managers got the idea that leading was all about criticizing, nagging and fault-finding. There is an unconscious mindset that believes, “If I put down my employees, they’ll have to respect me.” Wrong.

I’m sure you can see the weakness in that thinking, but it’s astounding how many leaders believe it, even if at an unconscious level. Author/consultant Stephen Covey says that we need to consistently make deposits into others’ emotional bank accounts (sincere compliments, positive feedback) and then we’ll have a fund to ‘withdraw’ from when/if we need to give constructive criticism. Plus, most people get so little positive feed-back in this world, that the leader who offers it consistently will command tremendous loyalty and respect.

So these have been my Ten Leadership New Year’s resolutions for 2010. I hope you find them helpful. Wishing you a great and successful year..!

8. Practice and inspire loyalty.

Well I’ve already broken my New Year’s resolution to blog everyday; it can be a challenge sometimes.  So I apologize for being off line this week!

Here is the 8^th New Year’s Resolution for Leaders: 

“Loyalty cannot be blueprinted. It cannot be produced on an assembly line. In fact, it cannot be manufactured at all, for its origin is the human heart-the center of self-respect and human dignity. It is a force which leaps into being only when conditions are exactly right for it-and it is a force very sensitive to betrayal.”  — Maurice R. Franks

I’m not sure what the cause is – maybe it’s the reality shows, or the highly-charged partisan politics, or our competitive American society — but we’ve become a people who revel in talking about each other….usually negatively.

In this millennium, gossip has been elevated to an art form (i.e. TMZ.  Oy..!).  Winning at any cost has become a way of life (“Survivor” or “Big Brother”).  And turning on each other seems to be the key to political survival  (See Fox News or CNN). 

In 2010, it’s rare to encounter the person who refuses to propagate poison.  But no matter who you are or what your life goals are, loyalty has always been, and will always be, a rare and valuable virtue.

Let’s define it.   According to Webster’s, loyalty means: 

1 : unswerving in allegiance, as

a : faithful in allegiance to one’s lawful sovereign or government

b : faithful to a private person to whom fidelity is due

c : faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, or product.

If we had the time, we could discuss a long list of life situations where loyalty should be expected as part of normal human interaction – loyalty to family, friends, neighbors, church members, team members, professional associates, etc.   But sadly, it’s more common (and “cool”) to do the opposite – to critique, belittle, mock.  (David Letterman and Jon Stewart have made successful careers out of it.)

But  I digress.  This series is about leadership… and loyalty is one of those seldom-practiced leadership qualities that deserves revival.

General Colin Powell defines loyalty well:

“When we are debating an issue, loyalty means giving me your honest opinion, whether you think I’ll like it or not.  Disagreement, at this state, stimulates me.  But once a decision is made, the debate ends.  From that point on, loyalty means executing the decision as if it were your own.”

Good advice for subordinates.  But it starts with you.  If you want your team to support you, then be loyal to them. 

If you have a habit of discussing team members’ weaknesses at managers meetings or in the break room, I guarantee that your staff members are doing the same about you. 

Set an example for the behavior you expect from others; protect your team and demonstrate your loyalty to them.

My grandmother used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Enough said.

Tomorrow:  Resolution Number 9 — Develop and build good relationships.

 

Only three left!  Continuing with the Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders, here is Number 7:

7. Communicate artfully. 

Most leaders know that communications is a primary skill for leadership success.   I’m asked to conduct more communications skills workshops than any other topic, and it’s clear to me that most leaders struggle with this essential skill.

That’s not surprising, it’s a huge and complicated topic and includes countless subsets — negotiating, conflict management, coaching, performance feedback, progressive discipline, presentation skills, facilitation skills, project management, team building, building trust, building loyalty, customer service, and on and on.  

I struggled with many of these myself, still do… but fortunately, experience, study and painful mistakes are great teachers.  

Because this is such a huge topic area, and there are countless books available to address many of the above skills,  I’m just going to share a few thoughts on communications, as it pertains to our Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions.

Here are a few basic guidelines about leadership communications:

• Learn to balance your interactions; don’t talk too much or too little.  Too much says you prefer lecturing to listening and don’t care about others’ opinions; not enough and you risk having a team that is confused and divided. 
• Learn about and study body language, written communications, facilitation/presentation skills, negotiating, etc.  Most of us are not born good communicators; we need to learn, study, practice!
• Listen as much as (more than) you talk. (Remember Resolution #5 – “Turn the spotlight on your team).  Stop lecturing and start listening.
• Apply Resolution # 4.  Be honest in your communications; be direct, don’t beat around the bush.  But always be respectful and tactful.

For my money, communications is the most important leadership skill you can learn. Great communicators often become leaders; but there has never been a great leader who is a poor communicator. 

So start today!

Tomorrow — New Year’s Resolution No. 8:  Learn that loyalty is a two-way street.

We’re getting closer to the big finish!  

Here is Number 6 of the Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders:

 

 

“It’s not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity.”  — Francis Bacon

6. Stand your ground when your beliefs, integrity and/or intuition (“gut feelings) are on the line. 

The older I get, the more aware I’ve become of how much fear rules our lives.  Fear of failure, fear of disapproval, fear of making a mistake, fear of embarrassment, fear of not belonging, fear of losing our job, fear of financial disaster, fear of illness, fear of change, fear of loss, fear of looking stupid, fear of being alone, fear of aging… well, you get the idea. 

We are fearful people living in an anxious world.  To quash our fears, we may find ourselves doing questionable things or making stupid decisions.  We put on airs because we fear that others will see our fear; we try to appear confident, successful, decisive. 

In a corporate environment, leaders especially are often fraught with fear.  We’re the ones who have to make tough decisions that can have serious consequences;  we’re expected to motivate, inspire and build team spirit; we’re responsible for staying on time, on budget, on target, etc, etc. 

But we also have the same human needs as our team members:  the need to belong, to be liked, respected and trusted.

So somewhere mixed among all of these fears we may have forgotten about powerful virtues such as integrity and honesty.  We’ve lost who we are and what we believe.  We compromise and sell out ourselves and our values; we’ve gotten out of touch with our personal standards if we ever had them.

Someone once said, “Never separate the life you live from the words you speak.”

Learn to win over your fears and live a life of integrity.  If not, you may be seen as a hypocrite or an apple-polisher, characteristics that breed disrespect from those above as well as those below.  Real leaders have backbones!  Draw your line in the sand and don’t step over it; don’t compromise your standards.

Speak up when necessary; stand your ground when the situation calls for it; protect your staff with strength and uncompromising standards.  There is just no other way to live. There is no other way to lead.

Please come back tomorrow for Number 7:  “Communicate Artfully.”

Today we’re half way through the Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders.  Here is No. 5:

 

5. When you stop thinking about yourself – your office politics, your future, your personal brand, your bonus, your career goals, and keep the spotlight on your team members, your competency and respect as a leader will soar.

As long as you are your first priority, you will lack empathy, compassion, and you will certainly never be called an inspirational leader.  Since I’m kind of a visual person, I literally conjure up a spotlight in my brain.  If the spotlight is turned on ME, then I lack the sensitivity to hear or perceive the (often) low volume messages coming from my team; I’m not tuned into their frequency, and so there is bound to be misunderstanding, conflict, lack of trust and lack of motivation.

But if my spotlight is turned on THEM, then that presents a wholly different picture.  If the light is shining on their achievements, their concerns, their suggestions, and their talents, then the odds are very good that my team will be a successful one.  Imagine that —  THEY succeed, and the credit will come back to me.  I may even get promoted and acknowledged myself.  What a concept!  One of those dichotomies of life I guess — you actually get more back by giving more away.

As Rick Warren says in his best seller, The Purpose Driven Life, “It’s not about YOU.” Leadership is not about the leader, it’s about the follower.  http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/ 

So shine a gigantic light on your team… and watch the transformation.

Join me tomorrow for Resolution #6:  Stand Your Ground.  See you then!

Continuing from yesterday – “The Number 4 New Year’s Resolution for Leaders”:

4. Learn the art of tempered honesty (or “tactful candor”).  If you’ve ever worked for someone who tended to beat around the bush, the odds are that you didn’t trust him/her very much.  Indirectness is often interpreted as dishonesty, manipulation, or having a hidden agenda.  If you ask people (I have), most will say that they would rather you tell them the truth, “warts and all,” than sugar-coat information that they need to know.

Let’s look at the third New Year’s Resolution for Leaders:

3.   Put a control structure in place that doesn’t choke creativity or motivation, but provides a foundation to make people feel safe.  Most folks need the security of structure but hate being suffocated by it (i.e. micro-managing). 

I’ve rarely worked for a leader who works with a balance of structure — either s/he was overly structured and controlling, or s/he had very little structure or plan.  But when that rare person comes along that knows how to give the team a structure that creates security and knowledge, while at the same time encouraging individuality and creativity… an empowered, motivated team of people emerges.

What’s “structure”?  Well, there are a ton of project management programs and books out there, which is a good place to start.  Structure involves planning, goal setting, and a method to track progress of goals.  It involves time management, organizational skills, prioritizing and delegating.  It requires an ability to look ahead, anticipate problems ASAP, and adjust the plan to address problems, changes and emergencies.  It involves budget administration and logistical management.  You get the idea… it’s the “management” part of management.

People skills are essential of course, and most of the other Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders address those, but you can be an outstanding people person and still mess up with getting things done.  Which truthfully, is why you have a management position in the first place (Not to mess up, but to get things done!)

So make 2010 your year to get organized, set priorities, create a structure to track employee performance, deadlines, status, etc, and anticipate obstacles or challenges.  Determine that you’ll get out of the rut of ‘emergency’ management, and learn that by being well organized and a good planner, you will actually put out fewer fires, have less stress in your life, and will be a much better manager.

Tomorrow, New Year’s Resolution #4: Learn the art of tempered honesty (or “tactful candor”).

Continuing with the Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for Leaders, I’d like to share #2:

2.  Promise yourself that no matter how many priorities and  “emergencies” may get in your way, you will not sacrifice spending individual time with your team members.

Plan casual time with employees; drop by their work areas, ask them about their families, get to know them as people, learn what they cherish and what they fear.  The better you know them, the better you can support and discover what motivates them (or demotivates them).  The best leaders know that people are INDIVIDUALS, and are as unique as their fingerprints.  And the only way you can unravel the mystery of their personalities is to spend time with them. 

The time you invest now will reap benefits in productivity and morale, and you may also find that they “have your back” when things get tough.

Come back tomorrow for New Year’s Resolution No. 3 “Put a control structure in place.”

Happy New Year!  I hope that you had a beautiful Christmas and wish you a wonderful, prosperous 2010.

I’ve been thinking about this blog of mine, especially my seeming inability to post every day (I do have clients and projects to tend to!), and I think that one problem may be that I’m just trying to write too much.  Admittedly, it’s not a big stretch for me to be long-winded, but even ruminations can take time.  So my New Year’s resolution is to blog daily, but keep it to sprints instead of marathons.

I just mailed my monthly newsletter, “Leading in Tough Times,” to my clients, and thought that it would be an excellent topic to share in the blogsphere as well.  (If you would like to receive back issues, please let me know!)

As I was deciding on the topic, I began to think about New Year’s resolutions and what an appropriate time this is to share the top 10 leadership principles I’ve gathered over two decades of managing teams and teaching leaders.  After all, this is the season for renewed commitments and new behaviors, and so I thought you would enjoy reviewing these principles at the threshold of this new year.

Most of these are probably not new to you (if you’ve been a leader for any length of time), but just like weight loss and exercise, we know we should do it, but for what ever reason, don’t.  Yet leaders, of all people, understand that living a purposeful life is about achieving excellence, raising the bar, reaching for the next rung, learning and growing, and applying self-discipline.

So on that note, I’d like to share with you my Top 10 (suggested) Leadership Resolutions for 2010.  (In keeping with my promise to keep posts short, I will do this in a series… one piece at a time).

Enjoy – and please send me your comments, suggestions and any leadership resolutions that I should add to the list!